Monday, December 7, 2009


yeah, i just finished watching loveless and like always, every movie or series i watch always bring me sorts of question, demanding answers. so, like always, i was bothered by those existing questions in my head.

1. if i had a real name, what would it be?
i have no idea. and i'm sure as hell it would not be loveless or beloved or breathless or sleepless or endless or anything in that series. and much to my dismay, probably hopeless or worthless. yeah, not soulless as my brain convinced me to be.

2. if i had a fighter, what kind of person would he/she be?
i don't know either. probably someone that'd match me? a person who has pride, strong but sensitive. i don't know. maybe someone with cold eyes and expressionless?

3. if i can choose to either be a sacrifice or a fighter, which one i'll choose?
i don't think i care whether i'm the fighter or sacrifice. but then again, if the sacrifice takes the damage for her fighter, i think i'd choose to be a sacrifice. and i'll learn to be a strong sacrifice.

4. if i were ritsuka, will i accept soubi?
well, i think my reactions would be the same as he is coz i sucks. haha

5. which character in the series that i'd like to have as my fighter and my sacrifice (if i'm the fighter)?
well, i'd like to have Kouya as my sacrifice, though i'd make sure that she'll never get hurt even though she can't feel pain.
and for the fighter, of course i would like it to be Soubi since he's perfect.

and then, the self thoughts. yeah, they are hurting me deep. when i think about it again, it was always Malilith and Fye. and since one could one have one sacrifice or fighter then, is one of them mine? or i'm just the bystander?

because Malilith loved Fye and Fye loved Malilith.
because i loved Fye and he told me that he loves me.
because i loved Malilith and he told me that he loves me.

so, who belongs to who?
and which one of us doesn't belong?
it was those questions that always break us down.

"which one of us don't belong?"

and when that came up, i'd said that i was me.
because Malilith is perfect with Fye.
one black and one white.
both pretty and kind.
one's winter and one's summer.
and i'm the autumn. the lonely autumn.
i don't belong.

but when Fye answered, he'd say that he doesn't belong.
he had his reasons.
and we all knew that all along.

and same goes for Malilith.

because we love each other too much to hurt one another. so we opted to hurt ourselves instead. it's okay, it's okay, as long as we are together, i don't mind any other. that's what we would say. and that's makes us, who we are. strong bonds, but was cold as ice.

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