frozen winter

It's winter again, but now it isn't cold anymore. It's just purely numbing, of all her senses. Her eyes are open but does her heart do too? She stays by the river bank, staring at the seemingly calm water, her heart is beating so soft, she couldn't even sure if she is there or is she dreaming again? The water, it is so clear and she could see right through it. If only she could see future right through like she did with this river. Slowly she takes a rock and throws it into the water, staring at the sight of the waves gradually losing.

"It is so quiet, feels so lost without you, brothers."

The three of them went to the river and started to collect rocks on the river bank. Then, they all lined up, almost perfectly up by the river bank and one by one, throwing the rocks into the river, smiling as they did so.

"Malilith, what's your wish?" asked the grey-haired Fye.
"Yeah! Yeah! Tell us yours!" added Ila, staring at her Malilith intently.
"What? Of course you can't know someone else's wish! Or else it will never come true!" snapped Malilith, turning his back on both of the questioners.
"Aww, come on Malilith! You're no fun!" whined Ila, turning up her lips.
"No way!" said Malilith in irritated voice.
"Okay! Fine! I won't tell mine too!" whined the angry Ila, as her wish is not obeyed.
"Haha! You two are funny as ever! Do you guys wanna know mine?" chuckled Fye, smiling at both of the irritated ones.
"Really, really?" asked Ila, curious.
"No! Your wish shall never come true if you tell us!" protested Malilith.
"It's okay because I believe that my wish will always be true," replied Fye calmly, easing the nervous still air.
"Really?" asked Ila for confirmation. She wouldn't want to ruin Fye's wish too.
"I wish that we will always be together, stay with each other, live together forever through the day and night. I know that this wish has come true and it will always be true. Because I love you both more than anything else, Malilith, Ila."

Both of the listeners smiled at the one who wished so and hugged him lovingly. In their hug, they both whispered slowly to Fye, "We love you too, so much."

"You shouldn't have told us that, Fye. Because in the end you're the one who destroyed it."

This time it's only the two of them and they went to the very same place, the river. And the cold water is frozen, as solid, as cold as death. Malilith and Ila stared at the frozen lake, breathing soft steams and then they both took a rock for each of them. Without hesitation, Malilith threw his as hard as he could and breathed out. Ila then followed his lead and fell on her knees, looking down to the soft grayish white snows. Malilith stared at the same frozen entity too before turning on his back.

"I wish Fye could be here with us. That's all I'm wishing for," said Malilith slowly but loud enough for Ila to hear it. It was heartbreaking, everything reminded them of Fye. Then, they both burst into tears, without a sound. They just couldn't afford to stare at each other teary eyes anymore.

"And yet it's only you who could be with Fye. How I envy you, Malilith. But I love you so much I wish you'd be happy there."

She stands up, walking away from the scene. What her wish was, no one ever knows beside herself. But what the others knew was that it never came true.

and when you're gone
i thought of giving up life
but in my sleep
you turn to me and whispered
that you love me
things that's once lost
you can never get it back
being slipped away by unforgiving time
my winter blows sorrow
straight to my darkened heart
even still
the wounds never stop bleeding

in my sighs and cries
i chant your name
in this memorial night
wish me something else
and hope thy wish come true
before this flame stopped burning
and before the dark
creeps and reaps me out