Friday, September 11, 2009

one night stand

it's already 6.30am right now and i'm still awake
we made it
we didn't sleep this night
reminds me of my childhood memories
it has been a long time since the last time I did this
and I'm getting dizzy, nausea, sleepy, sick, hungry, and probably stressed

oh my god
today i drank a lot of coke
which makes me high
they didn't know it
but i think they somehow catch me
i'm high with extra coke or carbonated drinks
but i love coke
and my sister knows it
i know i act weird when i'm high
well, unconsciously

but today
there's something that i'm mad about
my friend, my innocent friend
tried to smoke
i'm so pissed
i tried to stop but when Echa said
"biar la diaorang, diaorang dah besar"
i was freaking pissed

yes, I'm pissed at all of you

for encouraging Farah and Fung to smoke
maybe only Fung
it's bad
I'm sorry that I'm pissed
but I just am

i love you all as my friend
and i do freaking care about you all
but maybe i was too harsh too
i don't know now
what i know is i was mad that time

maybe i shouldn't have talked about this at the car at all
they seem ignoring it
maybe i was wrong
they're grown up teenager
and it's up to them
i should kill my protective instinct
they are not kids
fuck i treat them like kids
or so i think

maybe i should give them space
in any way
i meant no harm
i'm just worried sick
maybe I'm just being busybody

in all ways
it was fun

*smiles nyappily now*

when i looked upon tonight's half moon
i feel emptiness crept over me
when i cherish it
i notice that they are someone
behind me
next to me
in front of me
and i love the feeling
of overwhelming warmth
in the unity of our almost cold hands
warming each other
i'll keep this memory

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