one night stand

it's already 6.30am right now and i'm still awake
haha
we made it
we didn't sleep this night
reminds me of my childhood memories
it has been a long time since the last time I did this
and I'm getting dizzy, nausea, sleepy, sick, hungry, and probably stressed

oh my god
today i drank a lot of coke
which makes me high
haha
they didn't know it
but i think they somehow catch me
yeah
i'm high with extra coke or carbonated drinks
but i love coke
and my sister knows it
haha
i know i act weird when i'm high
well, unconsciously
fuck!

but today
there's something that i'm mad about
my friend, my innocent friend
tried to smoke
i'm so pissed
i tried to stop but when Echa said
"biar la diaorang, diaorang dah besar"
i was freaking pissed

yes, I'm pissed at all of you
for encouraging Farah and Fung to smoke
maybe only Fung
it's bad
I'm sorry that I'm pissed
but I just am

i love you all as my friend
and i do freaking care about you all
but maybe i was too harsh too
fuck
i don't know now
what i know is i was mad that time

maybe i shouldn't have talked about this at the car at all
they seem ignoring it
maybe i was wrong
they're grown up teenager
and it's up to them
i should kill my protective instinct
they are not kids
fuck i treat them like kids
or so i think

maybe i should give them space
in any way
i meant no harm
i'm just worried sick
maybe I'm just being busybody
sorry

in all ways
it was fun
haha

*smiles nyappily now*

when i looked upon tonight's half moon
i feel emptiness crept over me
when i cherish it
i notice that they are someone
behind me
next to me
in front of me
and i love the feeling
of overwhelming warmth
in the unity of our almost cold hands
warming each other
i'll keep this memory