Friday, January 8, 2010

Questions (repost)

Tittle : Questions
Author : Ila Way

Eventhough it was too much, I still wanted to ask you…

“Fye, lets play 20 questions,” said Ila, smiling to the silver-haired one.
“Oh, that game?”
Ila smiles, nodding to the question. “Why do you like that game so much?”
“Tee hee, because I love to hear your answers. And I should be the one questioning here,” she smiles again with hands brushing Fye’s hands.
“Oh, I see. Forgive me. Then, I’ll answer every single of them just for you.”

“Do you love me?” – “I do”
“Do you care about me?” – “I do”
“Do you really love me?” – “Yes, I do”
“Do you really care about me?” – “Yes, I do”
“Do you love Malilith?” – “I do”
“Do you really love Malilith?” – “Yes, I do”
“Do you care about him?” – “I do”
“Do you really care about him?” – “Yes, I do”
“Would you cry if I die?” – “I would”
“Would you cry if Malilith die?” – “I would”
“How much do you love me?” – “As much as you do”
“How much do you love Malilith?” – “As much as he does”
“How much do you love us?” – “More than myself”
“Have you ever thought that we are annoying?” – “Never”
“Have you ever thought that we are cute?” – “Always”

So, the question continues and Fye gladly answer every single of them until…

“How long will you stay with us?”

That last question… The last question… There is no answer coming from Fye. Ila stares blankly at him, waiting. He sighed and…

“Forever, my love”

But he lied. He never stay. He never did. He is the first to leave us… for eternity.

Eventhough I know it will hurt me, I still wanted to hear it…

“Will you ever leave?” – “Stop asking”
“Will you ever leave me?” – “Stop asking”
“Will you ever leave me like Fye did?” – “Stop…”
“Will you ever, Malilith… *holds herself* Will you ever…-” – “STOP IT!”

Malilith. He is the one who never answer, He never answer me. No matter how many times I asked him. No matter how…

“Malilith… W… Will you ever… -”
“It’s not like that! I… I just… Just wanted to…”
“If you keep on asking, I’ll kill myself,” said Malilith in threatening voice. “I will, Ila. I will”

No matter how painful it is, he will never answer. He will never… Unlike Fye…

But he creid everyday… Everyday when I did not ask…

“Why remain like this?”
“You want me to ask”
“No, I don’t”
“Will you ever-”
“You’re crying”
“You too”

Everytime I ask, I really mean it. Everytime you look into my eyes, I can’t control my tears, but so do you. You can’t answer me because you don’t want to hurt me but it actually hurts more when you… never answer…

“Don’t leave me…”

Silence. And that’s how we cried ourself to sleep.

“Dear Fye, will Malilith ever leave me?”
“He won’t”
“Are you lying?”
“I don’t”


This was posted at blue cresent before but since i read it back, i was touched by my OWN honesty towards myself. i couldn't get it back, now.

this was originally written 2 years ago.

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