written by : Moon Ila
at : 28th February 2010
Even if I wish that all of it were lies
So that I could sleep with sparkling hopes
But it’s reality that I couldn’t change
And all I have to do is to live with it
It wasn’t your fault everything turn out to be like this
It wasn’t his, their or anybody’s fault either
We have our reasons, though we couldn’t understand each other fully
This side will help you through
What they called as the thundering storms
What I couldn’t tolerate is the tears that rains
From what they called as despair and dying hopes
Your love, it wouldn’t stop hurting
Your heart, too far, I couldn’t touch it
I want you to always know
That no matter what I’m always there for you
Whether it’s right or wrong
You will never walk this world alone
What we couldn’t tolerate is the despair that fell
On you, on me, on everybody as it’s hurting
Your eyes, it wouldn’t stop hurting
Your pain, I couldn’t do anything to ease it
If you’re near, I’d ask us to hold hands
We’ll get through this and get our smile back
Together we stand, divided we’ll fall
Together we’ll break this through
We’ll never stop believing
What miracles could pull through
This time, it’s not you, it’s not me, it’s not him, it’s not her
It’s us, so strengthen these bonds, don’t break it apart
Even if it’s as thin as the invisible string
I don’t know how you guys are feeling right now, since I’m nowhere to understand your well masked feelings. Though I know it must be hurting since everybody was hurt and that includes me as well. This almost sudden turn of events created a huge thundering storm and storms damaged almost everything, cruelly, without mercy even to those who thought they prepared well for what’s coming. To be honest, the day before the press conference, I already cried, knowing that nothing will change and my hope will be broken. But those tears that fell, wasn’t only for Jay-oppa but for you guys as well. Our circle was very worried about you guys and how the press will go especially Wooyoung-oppa and Chansung-oppa. And even when you guys were on the conference, I was anxious, I really wanted to know what happened and if everything went well over there. But since I was so far away, I’m just an outsider, even if I call myself as MyHottest.
This whole thing still shocked me though, the next day, when I read those articles. It’s heartbreaking and I cried at the cyber café, embarrassing myself. I might be overreacting, and you guys might think that I’m childish but I couldn’t lie to myself that time so I cried. I cried because Jay-oppa isn’t returning and I cried when I thought of how hard it must be on you guys with those fans turning to anti-fans and all.
I couldn’t blame anybody but your entertainment company but let’s just call that as a selfish blaming since I’m not the one to blame anybody since I know just a little about the truth. I understand that you guys made your decisions, according to what I read from the articles. And I understand that you guys said that it was impossible for him to return as 2PM because of his personal mistakes. Though everybody was curious on what he did but I understand that I shouldn’t pry too much on it. You guys were protecting him, right?
Stay strong, that’s what I wanted to say for now. Know that no matter what, there were still fans like me out there that will always support you guys. Let’s just wish that time will wash away this overwhelming anger, sadness, and the despair of the fans. Everything will get better and please stay healthy so that we could smile together again.
And now I’m going to write personal message to you guys. I hope you guys know that you guys still own a lot of love from your hottest.
I personally really like you that I and my sister fought for you, in a childish manner. Then we agreed to share you. It’s funny but that happens when you fangirl over someone. Both of us loves you and adores you in so many ways it’s sad to think that you’re sad and was hurt. The fans posted the picture of you and that girl that was thought to be your girlfriend though you denied. Don’t worry, we will always love you since we knew that you love to love someone. It’s just normal that you have a girl, right?
You’re my number one since I love you the most in the band even though I love the other members too. I don’t know how did you feel when the fans wrote mean things like getting rid of you from variety shows and such but it must be hurting, right? I feel sorry for you and I wish you would always stay strong and move on, walk on confidently, remembering that there were still fans that would love to see you and there are still us that love you no matter what. Please bear in mind that you’re not in this alone, okay?
You’re my sister’s number one so I think I have more of your photos compared to the others. And we love you so much that we thought of going to Thailand when you went there last Valentine. You have a very large fanbase so I’m not that worried about you but still, I want to tell you that we love you and the others too. This thing will pass on, even though it look bad right now. You will pull this through, you have a lot of love, you already know that, right?
You’re like the cutest one in the bunch. If you guys were real bunnies then you’d be the cutest bunny ever. Fans were really worried if you’d cry and that just shows how much we really love you. The some of the fans posted pictures of you looking intoxicated with Seulong and the sexy girls to show that they care about 2PM no more. But I hope you know that there are still fans that will always love you and support you no matter what. It’s a normal thing for 20er boys to be like that, right?
I don’t know what Jay-oppa did that makes you and the others hate him for some time. I was shocked when I heard that but then was relieved that you said that you already forgive him. Junho-oppa, I know you’re strong but even if you’re strong, there’s a limit to it, right? We know that you’re really hardworking and you are hurt a lot so we are also very worried about you when things came out to be like this. I’m really sorry to stay this but please stay strong. I hope it wasn’t too much for you to handle and I want to tell you that we love your smiling eyes and we wish that you’d smile happily again. Oppa, we love you no matter what and we will wait for your honest smile!
You’re one of the cutest maknae I ever seen since you’re one of a kind maknae that kills the fans with your sexiness overload. I was told that you’re actually sensitive and because of that the fans are really worried about you as well. They are worried on how you would feel, how hard everything is going on for you and everything. It was kind of funny seeing some of the fans posted your pictures drinking. I know it was wrong since you’re underage but you’re not the only one in the world that did that. You’re just a little naughty and was caught so I hope you know that we don’t care about that. We will always love you. Don’t drink too much, okay?
The hottest are now split into two, the boycotting team that will not support 2PM without Jay and the supporting team that still support 2PM and does not boycott. I hope you don’t hate the boycotting team since they have their own reasons on why they became like that. I’m on the supporting team but I understand why there is boycotting team. They just wanted Jay back, as much as we, the supporting team wanted him back too. Since we don’t know what he did and everything, most of us still believe in miracle and wish that he’s come back, even though you guys said that it was impossible.
The boycotting team has points that we ourselves couldn’t deny and some of them are really drastic that they attacked the supporting team too. We hope that you guys know that we the supporting team protected you and you’re into this alone. There were fights in MyHottest and it is sad that our leader also resigned because of it. They were blaming her for being in charge of ordering your albums and such. But still we will always be on 2PM’s side.
I don’t really know why I wrote this since the chance of you guys reading it is so slim. But still, 2PM, FIGHTING! We will always wait for the hottest time of the day. WE LOVE YOU! And even though you might hate to hear this but, we will always wait for Park Jaebeom to come back.
ah, when i read this back, im really a child.. ^^" but thats how i really feel that time. I LOVE YOU 2PM!